Tuesday, November 13, 2007

For the dogless...

Until the real thing comes through, feel free to play with my puppy. She likes it when you feed her treats or pet her.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Chronicles of the NMF

For your entertainment, a few stories from the life of the NMFs.

Dessert First:
Yesterday, NMF #1 asked her mother if she could eat her dessert first. Her mother, being a card carrying member of the Mother's Union, responded as one would expect most union members to respond "No". NMF #1, a card carrying member of the Society for the Promotion of Intellectual Curiosity, shot back with "Why?"

Mom: "Because if you eat dessert first, you won't have room for your healthy food"
NMF#1: "But if I eat dessert first, the healthy food will wipe all of the sugar off of my teeth"

At this point, her mother decided to not go down the route of "Because I said so". Instead she told NMF #1 "Look, if you can write four sentences with very very good reasons why you should eat your dessert first, you can have your dessert first."

Chick wrote 5 sentences for 5 reasons and ate her dessert first.

Since this is a late breaking story and my sister was rushing this morning, I don't have the 5 reasons on hand. But I'll update you when I get them.

Bad Language Police:
Yesterday morning I called my sister and was greeted with "Morning chica". Before my sister could utter another word, NMF #2 began to give her a tongue lashing. "Don't say that Mommy. Stop it. That's doodie".

Confused, my sister asked "What's doodie?"
NMF #2: "Don't call anyone that. That's doodie. Don't say that Mommy."
My sister: "I'm talking to Aunt Dawn"
NMF #2 (even angrier): "Don't call Aunt Dawn that Mommy. It's not nice"

Finally, my sister realized what was going on...NMF#2 thought that chica was a bad word. She explained that chica was Spanish for girl. This placated NMF#2 a little bit, but now she was perturbed because "Aunt Dawn is not a girl". To make peace on the morning ride, my sister asked me for the Spanish word for sister.

My sister to NMF #2 "Hermana is the Spanish word for sister. So how about I say 'Good morning hermana'?"

Once again, all was well with the morning ride.


At the request of the NMF: On the way to school today, my sister revealed to the NMFs that they have a place on my blog. Since they are savvy chicks, they are excited to be featured on the Internet. While most kids might respond with a "Cool" or a "Thank You", the NMFs are on an entirely different plane.

NMF#1's response - "Tell Aunt Dawn to write about The Muppets."
NMF #2 backed her up with a chorus of "Do it, Aunt Dawn, do it."

Translation "If you're going to write about us, then tell the world what we think they should know." They are their own spin masters! In case you missed the subtlety of the request, they didn't ask me to write about The Muppets. They told my sister to tell me to write about The Muppets. In fact, when I was talking to NMF #1 on the phone, she said "I told Mommy to tell you something. Hold on, I'll pass the phone to her." After my sister relayed their edict, NMF #2 chimed in with the "Do it, Aunt Dawn, do it."

So, at the request of the NMF....

Muppets do The Wizard of Oz:
Last night, they watched The Muppets version of The Wizard of Oz. They absolutely loved it. Interestingly enough, this is a Quentin Tarantino flick. No doubt his style had some influence on the one of the highlights for NMF #1 -when the witch got kicked in the face. Enjoying violence is something unusual for this peace loving empathetic soul.

Anywho, last night, when my sister was talking about the movie, she was running down the cast. Ashanti as Dorothy...Queen Latifah as Auntie Em. At which point, NMF#1 piped up and asked "What's a Queen Latifah?"

One of the very rare moments when both my sister and I are stunned into temporary silence. It was the way she phrased the question that threw us off. My response over the phone "A bad chick man, a baaad chick" (bad meaning good of course). That brought my sister back to reality. Her reply "Queen Latifah is the real name of the woman who played Dorothy's aunt"

EDIT: Quentin Tarnantino didn't direct...just a cameo.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

What's going on...

I've received (and accepted) a job offer and I'm relocating to the East Coast.

I love the East Coast. NYC, Philly,Boston,Jersey,Vermont... it's going to be most awesome.

Take it away, Stinky Wizzleteats: