It's candy, bee-yotch

I got Chinese food last night - extra spicy. As I was munching on a pepper, I remembered a story from my childhood. Reason #4,567,852 why I love my Daddy.

I was about 8 or 9 years old and Mommy had agreed to babysit a coworker's daughter for the weekend. She was around the same age as my sister and me, so Mommy thought it would be fun. Plus, the coworker and her husband had to go out of town. The woman dropped the girl off and she seemed cool while her mother was there...but then when her parents left, she turned into a straight up bitch.

I don't remember exactly what she did, but I do remember that I could not stand her ass. Neither could my sister. Neither could my mother. Neither could my father. I do remember her being really bratty and demanding...only because that was to be her downfall.

On Saturday, Daddy took us out for Chinese food. This lil' bitch was yelling and screaming about what she was going to eat and what she wasn't going to eat. Fast forward to chow time. My father LOVED spicy food. He also enjoyed making a show of eating the peppers. Lil' Bitch couldn't stand that Daddy was getting all of the attention and began to whine and scream.

Lil' Bitch: "I want some"
Daddy : "No you don't, this is for grown ups"
Lil' Bitch: "I WANT SOME. I WANT SOME. I WANT SOME."
Daddy: "No"
Lil' Bitch (who is standing in her seat at this point) "GIMME SOME"
Daddy: "Okay - you can try one and if you like it, you can have some more" (Hands Lil' Bitch a red chile pepper)
Lil' Bitch: "What is it?"
Daddy: "It's candy."

At this point, we were all stunned. Daddy did not believe in harming kids nor did he lie very often. My sister and I were even more stunned that Mommy didn't intervene.

Lil' Bitch happily popped the pepper in her mouth and then her expression began to change. Her eyes welled up and she had this look on her face like "WTF?". As she reached for the water, my father pulled it away.

Daddy: " I told you that was for adults but you didn't listen. From now on, you are going to behave like the wonderful little girl I know you are. For the rest of the weekend you will be nice to my daughters. You will listen to me and Ms. Gloria. You will not talk back, you will not be rude. We want to have a good time with you. Understood?"

Lil' Bitch nodded her head.

Daddy opened up his hand and told her to spit out the pepper. He then gave her some rice and asked the waiter to bring some milk. He was so sweet to her - he picked her up, gave her a big hug and sat her on his lap until her mouth felt better. As a bonus, he took us all out for ice cream afterwards.

Although it was extreme -it worked. She was so much fun after that. We had a great time for the rest of the weekend.