Etiquette

As this was a gym related incident, I was tempted to blog about it only on my weight loss blog. However, etiquette is an utterly fab topic...so here goes:

Gym Etiquette:

If you choose to go the gym first thing in the morning, do us all a favor and hit your pits and crevices with some soap and water before you workout. Night funk combined with gym funk is not fair.

This morning, I got on the elliptical trainer and began my workout. I purposely decided not to workout next to the chick who looked like she swam in her own sweat. Besides my fear of being sprinkled with residual moisture, she just looked like she had that good workout smell.

Instead, I picked a machine next to the dry sistah who was barely doing anything because she was too distracted by her book and the TV. About a minute into the workout, this wave of funk hit me like Mike Tyson did Robin Givens. Nasty butt stinky funk that caused my gag reflexes to kick in. It was coming from the dry sistah on the machine next to me. It was so bad that I had to leave her vicinity with the quickness. I ended up working out on another floor.

Nasty ass woman!

Moral of the story: There's always time for a ho bath.

But I guess that this is payback for what I did to that kid on the L.

True story....
About 5 years ago, I was on the L headed home. I had just started a new diet that increased my fiber input and my gas output. On a crowded train, my stomach started rumbling. I tried as hard as I could to hold it in until I got off. One stop before mine, nature took its course and I let out a silent but deadly. I thought I was safe because the train had pretty much emptied out. Little did I know that there was a kid standing right behind me.

He didn't scream or yell. He just walked around me and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "Why lady? Why?".