Beauty is a cultural thing. I found this article on the BBC news website about the fattening rooms of Calabar. Basically it's a spa where women go to get good and juicy before they get married. You eat, sleep, eat, sleep and then eat some more. When you're nice and plump (and no longer an embarrssment to your husband) you go home.
The first time I went to Ghana (age 20), men would come up to me and say "Oh you are sooo fat." I was so embarrassed. I had no idea that this was the equivalent of "You are a sexy goddess." When someone was kind enough to clue me in to this, it was still felt really wierd. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that one plane ride would take me from pariah to object of desire.
With time, I realized that I am a sexy beast wherever I am. It doesn't center so much on what the culture thinks of my body shape/size, but on how I think of myself. When I was 60lbs lighter, I was not as sexy as I am now. My body may have been smaller and my skirts shorter, but I had zero confidence.
10 years later, I have the confidence and the body I want is on its way.
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